Hablo en espanol mas bueno que en ingles!

Learning English should be easy...if you live in New York. Unfortunately, learning English in New Mexico meant I was placed in a "learners" class along with 20 non-English-speaking-Mexican-illegal-aliens. In a month's time, I was fluent in Spanish and could spout every single curse word that existed: pinche cabron, hijo de puta, chinga la verga... but my English was definitely lacking. I hung out after school with all my alien friends, eating tacos al carbon, chimichangas, burritos and sopapillas, totally ignoring the fact I should probably be cruising down main street with the rest of the "cool kids", hanging out at McDonalds and Sonic. I even picked up playing guitar and would perform with the local mariachis. I just could not relate at all with cowboy boots, cowboy hats, hamburgers and milk shakes.
My dad had hired about 50 illegal aliens to work in the vineyards, they all lived in a few houses right down the street from our house. Every Friday, they would all show up to collect their pay, drunk off their asses and eventually fights would ensue, someone would get a bottle of beer broken on their head, then they would call it a day and go home.
One night, while my parents were out in the backyard drinking and I was in bed sleeping, one of these guys broke into our home and stole a bunch of stuff: stereo, camera, jewelry...and my flute, which I kept right next to my pillow. On his way out, he ran into my dad, who was just coming in to use the restroom, pulled out a long knife and stuck it to my dad's belly, threatening to gut him like a fish. My dad stayed real calm, let the guy get out the window and run, then he went for his "really big mother**cking gun" and chased him down. He dropped everything, except for my flute.
I became a supporter of hamburgers and French fries right after that.