Embarrassing moments.....Part IV

For those of you who didn't believe me when I said I was a band fag, here is the proof: here I am, in full drum major regalia, with my brother David. SO SEXY!
Not all my embarrassing moments involve kissing... Like any other person, my darkest, personal, horrifying memories include every age and every situation possible.
Three of my most memorable blunders happened in front of many people, on stage. One of them I've already mentioned to you, my rock star days. The other two are farther in the past, but not any less cringe-inducing when I think of them...
In sixth grade, the whole class had to go to religion courses. We would be split into groups of 5, then we would have to pick a passage from the bible and play it out, or speak about it. I don't remember what passage my team picked, I just remember we had made Styrofoam bricks with words from the bible on them, then built a wall to symbolize Jesus being our rock...
We had to do our presentation in church, in front of the whole school. Each of us got up with a mic and explained a different part of the wall.... It's finally my turn, I grab the mic from my friend Raphael, attempt to speak and instead burst out laughing as loud as I could, right into the mic. My teacher and teammates give me the dirtiest looks, then my teacher tells me to cut it out. I say, "alright, sorry everyone" and calm myself down. After a couple of deep breaths, I try it again, but unfortunately, as soon as I try to speak, deranged laughter comes out of my mouth. Keep in mind this goes on for a good 5 minutes, until my teacher finally has enough and yanks the mic out of my hands.
My brother was so embarrassed, he didn't speak to me for a week.
My senior year of high school, in addition to being a band fag, I was also a drama geek.(who knew!) I was cast as "La Paloma", a western prostitute, madam of the town whorehouse, in the play "Deadwood Dick". My costume was historically accurate, with the tight bodice, the full skirt a la can-can dancer, feathers in my hair and garter with small handgun hidden in it.
In those days, it was popular to wear pantyhose without panties, especially if you didn't want pantylines wearing your extra-super tight Jordache jeans.
The play begins, I'm pretty much on stage the whole first act, and I have to pee like a racehorse. I'm holding it so long I begin feeling as if I'm going to puke. First act over, I race to the bathroom, lift my skirt, drop my pantyhose and relieve myself. I have just enough time to wipe, take a drink of water, reapply my lipstick, then I'm back on stage.
My friend Steve and I are going through the scene, when I realize the audience is laughing hysterically and it's not even a slightly funny part of the play. I keep saying my lines, getting more and more irritated at the audience, when my friend Steve finally walks up to me and whispers in my ear: "You tucked the back of your dress into your pantyhose and your ass is showing."